Nowhere to Land

I'm tryna fly with nowhere to land
you say you're there but so does every man
it's hard to tell from so far away
if it's time to leave, or time to stay.

you got me hooked that's a truth
but after that I know no news.
I'm tryna fly with nowhere to land
like drinking water filled with sand.

it's hard to see where things stand
I'm tryna fly with nowhere to land
if it's not one thing, the next is new
but where's the fun when i'm one among a few

I'm trnya fly with nowhere to land
it's hard to sit where I need to stand
tell my gently or use a firm hand
I need to know where things are again

things fall slowly and run light again
tearing me slowly like an unseen hand
I hold on tight and trust one the man
cause I'm tryna fly with nowhere to land

He's There

When things are rough or you feel out of place

just close your eyes and ask God for grace.

To know it's all for a bigger plan,

whether you'll find out now or in the end.

But remember that too you can find peace in Him,

when you're falling down he'll help you rise again.

When your eyes are weary ask for rest,

even with all the chores He knows it's for your best

Time restrains and holds us down

because it's been so long it's been around.

Master your time don't let it master you

if that's the case it may become you too.

Today's a blessing no matter how hard

because there's a God who knows who you are.

When you feel no one's listening just open up right then and there

cause your father's a-list'ning and he's standing right there.

Scream out your anger, your brokenness and fear

until you've lost all you luster and you've cried every tear

He knew you before your bones ever formed,

there's nothing to hide because he's seen you before.

The maker of your heart is always prepared

to mend up what's broken if you ask for it there.

It's simply a matter of humbling yourself,

knowing you're broken and feel you deserve no one else

He knows what you're thinking that you're no good, but that's so not true.

He made you with laughter with joy, love, and peace.

You're meant to be holy if you seek Him indeed.

He wants you to acknowledge you know he's right there.

That you know you're fragile and you want dada there.

So shake off the glitter you applied long ago

to make things look better to those you don't know.

Remove all the gold, the sparkle, the shine.

It's not what he's wanting, he's looking inside.

He knows when you're hurting and awaits to confide,

but you have to let him, trust me: He's there.

Future Or A Memory

I don't want to be your coulda been, your woulda been, your distant past or your oldest memory, your biggest regret or long ago friend you see.... I'm scared that's where you'll put me and that's how it'll always be. I don't wanna be the girl you tell others you tolerated because you couldn't honestly tell me that things weren't going to work out the way we wished they would be. So keep things frank and don't toss me a lead. Unless you plan to tell stories of the love that unfolded as the years grew long and the days grew old. Sitting round by the fire where the best of stories are told. And maybe I'll be there to hear of these joys... because after all of this time you chose to keep me, to hold. And even if I'm not, I still hope I'm a good memory you'll be able to hold. So think for a moment where you're going from here, because there's always a memory but is it one you'll hold dear?....

Where's the Peace?

For once I just want my brain to be still and silent and not think a thing. I want a moment to myself where I'm not worrying about things that have been said or things I have done or if have hurt someone or if I've done something I shouldn't have or didn't do something I should have. I constantly war within myself as to what wrong I have done for the day when I should be thankful I have had the opportunity to even go through a day. I contemplate every little thing I do and my brain just won't let me catch a break when I need it. Let me sit idle and just run away for a while because it's been far too log since I've had such a rest. Even now while I'm writing I'm obviously thinking like never before, but at least there's some order and I can get it down on the page. I wish I could dream of nothing and run away to a place where everything is actually nothing and then only then can I relax and come to peace once again. I've lost all means of escape and I don't know where to go. I feel lost and kind of lonely, but I don't want left alone. I want all my space but then again I don't.

Hurting, Helping, Breaking, Healing

I can only do so much and I can only go so far. Because at some point you'll cut me off and you'll ship me off oh so far. I'm hurting and breaking to see you hurt so and I want to find a way to make things better you know. I can't do much more for you when you don't want me around because as much as it hurts me you just don't want me around. I want to sit there and listen no matter how much you may have to unload and then sit there and listen and listen some more. My heart can't stand sitting idle when you're not doing so well because it's not how it should be and I want to hold you so close. Things are so crazy and you do so well through it all. But life is so crazy and I want to be there through it all. If you'll let me, I'm willing to stay along for the ride because I don't want just good times. I want good and the bad. But life isn't meant to be handled like you're out on your own. It's meant to be shared with those who mean most. Spread out the burdens and you'll find great relief. Because life is much easier when you share when you're weak.

More Than You'll Ever Know

4/24/13
She like a garnish on the top that you toss to the side,
pretty to the eye, but it ain't gonna fly.

Thinkin' she'll stay 'cause you caught her lil eye,
but she catchin' on your game, and she's catchin' a ride.

It ain't about beauty or the shade of the skin,
but she's more than a pretty; she's a pretty little win.

You're playin' with a master, she's the master of her will,
'cause she can make your life easy or Hell on the hill.

It's coming up fast and you're hittin' the ground
reachin' up first, but then she turnin' around

She played in the game and she thought it was cool
til soon it turned quickly and she run like a fool.



This isn't complete by any means...  It's more of a "rap" than a poem I suppose. It's intended to be read at a pretty good clip.

Masks

Another old poem i did..it is supposed to describe how someone feels from living behind a mask for so long.. not one of my best but i like it :)

The person on the outside
is not what's on the in
I'll have to still dig deeper
and find the inner whim

I try to be the real me
I try with all my might
but it's all bcome a habit,
a habit I must fight

The person that you see
is not the me I am
I really want to change that
I really hope I can

I'll reach a little deeper
and fight away my masks
maybe soon I'll win this battle
and drop the masks at last

I guess it's pretty hard to fight
a fear from long ago
I'll fight this life-long habit
and end my little show

I've sought for their attention
but now I've found some proof
that's not what I am searching for
I want friendship and the truth

The masks I hope are falling
but stress is taking hold
my battle's getting harder
I fear my plans will fold

I'll put the stress behind me
for matter it does not
the only thing to work on
Is showing the me that I've got

But maybe that's the problem
why 've got this very mask
I'm holding all the stress in
and it's making me turn back

I don't want to lose this battle
I want an open door
one to throw my masks out
and leave forever more