A Heart or Two

You have a lot of nerve, you know

Breaking her heart and all

You took a beautiful, beating heart

Let, on the ground, it fall.

Why would you do that?

To a heart that you can hold

She trusted you so dearly

And you turned around in cold.

Did you think you could change her?

Or the beautiful way that she is?

Because you were more than greedy

And forgot what real love is?

You’ve been broken I know

From a time or two ago.

Is that why you did it?

To revenge so long ago.

Love can be dangerous

From a sharp knife you hold

Or love can be beautiful

Like the first fall of snow.

You decide its purpose,

Its will and its content.

But remember, not your own heart

She’s there on the other end.

So when choosing to hold a heart close

Be careful what you do

Cause it’s more than just your own heart

You’ve got two in this it’s true.

Broken Within

You can't take back a moment you've already had.
Or undo the words you've said when you're mad
That's the trick of the trade when it comes round today
Just remember the feelings when you're put through the same.

You can't change a memory, oh try as you may
It's gonna stick with ya, til it's your dying day
Others won't see it as it tears you within
But try not to keep it all bottled again

You can't hear a heart breaking, only beating within
It's hard to believe you'll feel worthy again
You hold all your pieces and try not to cry
Til one day the heavy just hurts you to try

Try as you may, someone will still come around
Wanting to help you get up off the ground
So hold out your hand and trust once again
But remember tread lightly... you're still broken within

Maybe, just maybe, they'll truly want to glue you together
But then, once again, you may need something better
One who won't care all the hurt you unload
They'll simply love you forever cause they want you to hold

So though you can't lose a moment or words that you've had
Remember the good ones, the hard, and the sad
They've made you the person that you are here today
And to the great person to love you some day

Pain In These Eyes

You don’t see it, now do you? The pain in these eyes
From all of the nights I’ve laid here and cried
I try not to think Or wonder so hard
But then what’s the use? I’m still broken inside

It hurts all the more when I try to forget
Cause it’s a burn to the heart when you’re all that I miss
My heart’s growing weary like it’s run a long race
When really I’m broken from seeing your face

A dream makes it harder, oh so hard to forget
Because it’s worse than the moment ‘cause you leave me again
I’m holding together and I let no one in
But I’m kicking and screaming on the inside again

I’m battered and broken from my hopes, all, once more
I’ve got to stop hoping there’ll ever be more

I was bent, now you broke me from all that’s within
You don’t see it, now do you? I can’t take this again
If I open my heart up and show you once more
I come back more hopeless ‘cause you’ve left me again

When my smile’s around just know that it’s true
I’ve learned from the greatest, longer you fake: it’s not you
I know you don’t see it, oh, the pain in these eyes
But then what’s the difference I’m drowning in lies

Soon you’ll look up and wonder why I’m no longer there
Cause I’ve drown in my sorrows while you thought you were fair
Don’t miss me no really, it’s not what you deserve
You never once asked me how I was doing within

So take all your pieces, your memories, just go
You never showed me I mattered, please leave me…. Just go.

A Distance, So Close

I don't expect you to care about my everyday life
or even the days that turn into bad nights.
But when my heart hits the floor and I'm hurting so bad
I hope that you'll reach out and help me at last.

I'm hanging on tightly but I think it's no hope.
My heart needed something but you never did hold.
I cry in this moment for more than one soul.
For more than one purpose, now you add to my whoa

I'm not quite the person you'd likely to hold
because of a rough time, I'm often so bold.
But lately that's different with a melted heart of stone.
It's breaking to pieces but not breaking in whole

The shell to protect me is broken once more
and I'm letting in feelings I fought long ago.
I guess what you're hearing is my muffled fight against weak.
But I'm down to my nothing and I feel oh so meek.

So maybe just one day you'll see what I need.
and maybe that one day the sign you will heed.
But for now I'm still waiting for someone to know
I'm breaking in pieces and need an arm here to hold.

To cry tears of anger, distrust, disbelief,
Broken and weary and I fall to my knees.
You'll sit there beside me as I let it all out
and know that your distance is my comfort for now.

Just Forget

Please don't remember me....
The way I talk smile smell taste,
laugh listen shine or ate.
Forget all the memories the old and the new.
 Keep none among us I'm ready, it's through.
 Let go the pieces the parts and the times.
You know it's the reason we fall every time.
Don't look back then wonder where I am now.
It's far for the better the way we turned out.
Well now that I've said it you're remembering us now
the joy and the laughter and how it turned sour.
We lost our affection that grew up so near
and reached a disaster that ended as feared.
We stopped all our trying to make things work... how?
It's not all that simple but it's simple no doubt.
So each to his memories that each we have known.
But please don't remember me, trust me: just don't.

Nowhere to Land

I'm tryna fly with nowhere to land
you say you're there but so does every man
it's hard to tell from so far away
if it's time to leave, or time to stay.

you got me hooked that's a truth
but after that I know no news.
I'm tryna fly with nowhere to land
like drinking water filled with sand.

it's hard to see where things stand
I'm tryna fly with nowhere to land
if it's not one thing, the next is new
but where's the fun when i'm one among a few

I'm trnya fly with nowhere to land
it's hard to sit where I need to stand
tell my gently or use a firm hand
I need to know where things are again

things fall slowly and run light again
tearing me slowly like an unseen hand
I hold on tight and trust one the man
cause I'm tryna fly with nowhere to land

He's There

When things are rough or you feel out of place

just close your eyes and ask God for grace.

To know it's all for a bigger plan,

whether you'll find out now or in the end.

But remember that too you can find peace in Him,

when you're falling down he'll help you rise again.

When your eyes are weary ask for rest,

even with all the chores He knows it's for your best

Time restrains and holds us down

because it's been so long it's been around.

Master your time don't let it master you

if that's the case it may become you too.

Today's a blessing no matter how hard

because there's a God who knows who you are.

When you feel no one's listening just open up right then and there

cause your father's a-list'ning and he's standing right there.

Scream out your anger, your brokenness and fear

until you've lost all you luster and you've cried every tear

He knew you before your bones ever formed,

there's nothing to hide because he's seen you before.

The maker of your heart is always prepared

to mend up what's broken if you ask for it there.

It's simply a matter of humbling yourself,

knowing you're broken and feel you deserve no one else

He knows what you're thinking that you're no good, but that's so not true.

He made you with laughter with joy, love, and peace.

You're meant to be holy if you seek Him indeed.

He wants you to acknowledge you know he's right there.

That you know you're fragile and you want dada there.

So shake off the glitter you applied long ago

to make things look better to those you don't know.

Remove all the gold, the sparkle, the shine.

It's not what he's wanting, he's looking inside.

He knows when you're hurting and awaits to confide,

but you have to let him, trust me: He's there.

Future Or A Memory

I don't want to be your coulda been, your woulda been, your distant past or your oldest memory, your biggest regret or long ago friend you see.... I'm scared that's where you'll put me and that's how it'll always be. I don't wanna be the girl you tell others you tolerated because you couldn't honestly tell me that things weren't going to work out the way we wished they would be. So keep things frank and don't toss me a lead. Unless you plan to tell stories of the love that unfolded as the years grew long and the days grew old. Sitting round by the fire where the best of stories are told. And maybe I'll be there to hear of these joys... because after all of this time you chose to keep me, to hold. And even if I'm not, I still hope I'm a good memory you'll be able to hold. So think for a moment where you're going from here, because there's always a memory but is it one you'll hold dear?....

Where's the Peace?

For once I just want my brain to be still and silent and not think a thing. I want a moment to myself where I'm not worrying about things that have been said or things I have done or if have hurt someone or if I've done something I shouldn't have or didn't do something I should have. I constantly war within myself as to what wrong I have done for the day when I should be thankful I have had the opportunity to even go through a day. I contemplate every little thing I do and my brain just won't let me catch a break when I need it. Let me sit idle and just run away for a while because it's been far too log since I've had such a rest. Even now while I'm writing I'm obviously thinking like never before, but at least there's some order and I can get it down on the page. I wish I could dream of nothing and run away to a place where everything is actually nothing and then only then can I relax and come to peace once again. I've lost all means of escape and I don't know where to go. I feel lost and kind of lonely, but I don't want left alone. I want all my space but then again I don't.

Hurting, Helping, Breaking, Healing

I can only do so much and I can only go so far. Because at some point you'll cut me off and you'll ship me off oh so far. I'm hurting and breaking to see you hurt so and I want to find a way to make things better you know. I can't do much more for you when you don't want me around because as much as it hurts me you just don't want me around. I want to sit there and listen no matter how much you may have to unload and then sit there and listen and listen some more. My heart can't stand sitting idle when you're not doing so well because it's not how it should be and I want to hold you so close. Things are so crazy and you do so well through it all. But life is so crazy and I want to be there through it all. If you'll let me, I'm willing to stay along for the ride because I don't want just good times. I want good and the bad. But life isn't meant to be handled like you're out on your own. It's meant to be shared with those who mean most. Spread out the burdens and you'll find great relief. Because life is much easier when you share when you're weak.

More Than You'll Ever Know

4/24/13
She like a garnish on the top that you toss to the side,
pretty to the eye, but it ain't gonna fly.

Thinkin' she'll stay 'cause you caught her lil eye,
but she catchin' on your game, and she's catchin' a ride.

It ain't about beauty or the shade of the skin,
but she's more than a pretty; she's a pretty little win.

You're playin' with a master, she's the master of her will,
'cause she can make your life easy or Hell on the hill.

It's coming up fast and you're hittin' the ground
reachin' up first, but then she turnin' around

She played in the game and she thought it was cool
til soon it turned quickly and she run like a fool.



This isn't complete by any means...  It's more of a "rap" than a poem I suppose. It's intended to be read at a pretty good clip.

Masks

Another old poem i did..it is supposed to describe how someone feels from living behind a mask for so long.. not one of my best but i like it :)

The person on the outside
is not what's on the in
I'll have to still dig deeper
and find the inner whim

I try to be the real me
I try with all my might
but it's all bcome a habit,
a habit I must fight

The person that you see
is not the me I am
I really want to change that
I really hope I can

I'll reach a little deeper
and fight away my masks
maybe soon I'll win this battle
and drop the masks at last

I guess it's pretty hard to fight
a fear from long ago
I'll fight this life-long habit
and end my little show

I've sought for their attention
but now I've found some proof
that's not what I am searching for
I want friendship and the truth

The masks I hope are falling
but stress is taking hold
my battle's getting harder
I fear my plans will fold

I'll put the stress behind me
for matter it does not
the only thing to work on
Is showing the me that I've got

But maybe that's the problem
why 've got this very mask
I'm holding all the stress in
and it's making me turn back

I don't want to lose this battle
I want an open door
one to throw my masks out
and leave forever more

A Heart on Fire

I wrote this a long time ago.. haven't done poetry in a long time but this one has always been one of my favorites for some reason and I just keep coming back to it! It describes how the fire in a heart can turn from a good thing to a terrible thing

A flicker, a spark,
grew into a flame
soon a large fire
then put out again

A heart filled in awe
and maybe simple wonder
then turning all of life
into quite a plunder

Releasing wild fire
that is never in control
turning love against me
and never for my hold
 
Try to tame a fire
but try becomes a fail
now engulfing others
my heart will never sail

The fire is a burn
it's one that never eases
the flames all lick with hunger
and tear us all to pieces

I try to heal the hurt, the pain
I rise again and take my aim
but all too soon it srikes the hand
what's left behind is all that stands

Should I cease?
Or shall i rise?
I look to God
I lift my eyes

The battle's over
or so i think
the fire's won
my heart will sink

A cure not present
in this world
I'll let it settle,
I'll let it heal

Daddy's Little Girl

This is just a short poem I wrote for my dad for Father's day 2011, hope you like it as much as he did! :)


Right from the start I’ve had a hold on your heart
From laughing to crying and all that’s between
You’ve made my life special from baby to teen
With memories behind us and dreams in the wings

The years have gone quickly and soon I’ll leave home
But I’ll always be your little girl whose hand you can hold
Thank you for loving me all the years I have grown
You’re the very best daddy this girl could adore

Happy Father’s Day to the very best dad

Reckless Abandon

Running so quickly
I forgot what's behind
Where I am running
Now I've gone blind

God was my passion,
but then I got lost
lost in temptation
just one little loss

My heart I abandoned
or so it had seemed
but now it's a-wan'drin
and it's all 'cause of ME

Selfish and tempted
I fell in the snare
lost all my conscience
of what's really there

I long for His touch
a feeling of gold
hugging me closely
'til I'm no longer cold

My body feels weary
so weak and so old
limp in His his right hand
He has an ever firm hold

Wiping my tears
I look at His face
He tells me, "No longer,
will tears stain your face."

I've never felt stronger
than in this place
the place of my Father
we're here; face to face

Magnificent Savior
He loves us so much
always and ever
He's waiting for us

With reckless abandon
we run to the Lord
finding a fullness
and soon His reward